Therapy for Anxiety & Perfectionism in Missoula, MT.
Rest without guilt & feel more present for the parts of life that matter most.
You keep thinking, “If I just do more, work harder, and make the right choices, I’ll finally feel better”… but always fall short of your own expectations.
Finish one thing and immediately feel your brain grab for the next thing that will make you happy—and never let yourself celebrate accomplishments because you keep raising the bar on yourself.
Look around and feel like everyone else is able to do so much more with their time—so you try harder, do more, and assume something must be wrong with you.
Feel like one mistake or wrong answer could expose you as an imposter—at work, in school, or with the people closest to you—so you burn the candle at both ends trying to do everything “right.”
Swing between all-in and shut down: either you overdo it to stay ahead, or procrastinate until the last minute because it feels impossible to do it perfectly.
Walk around with a tight jaw, tense shoulders, or a knot in your stomach and only really notice when you’re struggling to fall asleep at night or realize you haven’t eaten, hydrated, or centered any of your needs all day.
You don’t have to punish yourself into change.
Pressure can create movement, but it rarely creates sustainable peace. In therapy, we’re not trying to shut down the drive that got you this far, we’re just separating drive from self-attack. Because, believe it or not, change doesn’t require you to be harsh with yourself, and can actually become easier when you treat yourself with compassion and build your intrinsic motivation.
How We’ll Work Together
Let’s explore options beyond “all or nothing,” so you have more room to breathe.
We’ll start each session by getting clear on what you want for yourself right now, because that gives us a direction to work toward (not just a list of things you want to stop feeling). From there, we’ll slow down and look at what tends to come up the moment you try to move toward that—what sensations you feel and what automatic thoughts pop up.
We’ll practice catching those early signals even when your mind is still saying, “I’m fine,” so you can pause before reaching total overwhelm. If it’s beneficial, we’ll use tools and exercises that connect the mind and body, so your nervous system can adjust to tolerate uncertainty, and you can begin to trust yourself more.
As we go, we’ll learn to recognize two different “voices” inside you: the voice of abundance that actually knows what matters to you, and the voice of survival that’s afraid of doing something wrong or disappointing others. Once you know the difference, you can keep your ambition without the vice grip of urgency or impending doom. Then, you can make choices with more flexibility and not let detours or missteps throw you off-course. We’ll consistently remind ourselves of who you are beyond productivity, so you can remember that your worth isn’t something you have to prove, it’s inherent.
What We’ll Work On
Specialized therapy for anxiety & perfectionism can show you how to…
Unwind in a way that truly feels restful, and create more fun in your life.
Notice the signs of overwhelm sooner, so you can shift course or ask for support.
Make decisions without needing perfect certainty, so choosing a direction feels less urgent or high-stakes.
Be more flexible in your thinking, so you have room to give yourself grace.
Set boundaries and delegate with ease, practicing taking a beat, saying you need time to think about it, or kindly saying no.
Separate who you are from what you achieve, so you can actually recognize wins, feel more present in your relationships, and let your authentic self be enough.
You can be ambitious and still be kind to yourself.
Life doesn’t have to feel like a test to pass.
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
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If your high standards come with constant urgency, guilt, or a sense that you’re never done, that’s usually more than motivation. Many people can perform at a high level and still feel trapped by the pressure underneath it. In our work, we focus on what’s driving the patterns you’re noticing, and how you can find more moments of calm and joy in your life.
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My anchor is NARM (NeuroAffective Relational Model), a depth-oriented, trauma-informed framework that focuses on agency and the patterns we adapt into over time. I also integrate EMDR-informed resourcing (skills to build stability and capacity before doing anything intense) and somatic tracking (noticing body cues as early signals). When rumination or OCD-style loops are part of the picture, I may draw from Inference-Based CBT (I-CBT), which targets the “maybe, what if” reasoning that keeps doubt and checking cycles going.
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We slow down the pattern so you can catch it as it’s happening: the trigger, the story your mind tells, and the strategy you reach for to cope. From there, we practice responding with more nuance—less all-or-nothing, more choice. The goal is not to lower your standards, it’s to loosen the grip of pressure, so your life feels more enjoyable.
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A lot of high-capacity people can look successful and still feel internally braced, guilty, or behind. Therapy can support you in seeing what’s fueling the pressure and how it’s showing up day to day. Our work focuses on supporting you to live a life that actually feels good, not one that just looks good from the outside.
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Progress often looks like catching the spiral sooner, recovering faster, and making decisions with more flexibility—being able to rest, make a choice, or show up imperfectly without it turning into a crisis. Over time, the “I have to earn my worth” storyline gets rewritten into “I have a choice in how I live.”
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I’m a Certified NeuroAffective Relational Model (NARM) Therapist, and I use NARM as my primary framework for working with patterns like chronic urgency, shame, and performance-based self-worth. I’m also EMDR-trained and integrate EMDR-informed resourcing and somatic tracking when that’s useful—especially for people whose bodies are carrying more tension than they realize. When rumination or doubt loops are part of the picture, I may also draw from Inference-Based CBT (I-CBT) to target the “what if” reasoning that keeps anxiety activated.